March 06, 2024
Talk way out off early violence trauma
An advocate against family violence is encouraging men to talk about their experience with other men and learn to tackle the roots of their behaviour.
Christchurch barber Mataio Faafetai Malietoa ‘Matt’ Brown says he’s seen too many whanau suffer in silence, which can lead to drug abuse, prison, and continuing the cycle of violence.
He’s turned his own experience of growing up in a violent household and of counselling the tane he sees in his barber’s chair into a book, She is Not Your Rehab.
He doesn’t condone the violence, but he understands it.
“Society has groomed men to shut down their emotions, to not speak about hard things, to work hard but never talk about our feelings so we were the generation raised by fathers who were that hard generation, who just went to work to put food on the table but as young kids we are trying to navigate our masculinity in a society that teaches us to harden up, to man up, to not talk about these things and it just hasn’t worked,” Mr Brown says.
He created the innerBoy.dot.nz web site to offer free online advice – and says the power of the internet to reach people was confirmed when filmstar and wrestler Dwayne The Rock Johnson replied to a video-letter.
“The Rock ended up responding and sharing our video – our son’s letter – and it went viral. That campaign alone had a viewing of over 25 million,” he says.